Sometimes the day wakes up, stretches and is like “Yeah, no. It’s not happening today.” And when you wake up and realize that this day just is not going to work for you, you know that you aren’t going to work for it, either. But still maybe you have to go to work (UGH, first-world problems!) and by mid-morning you are asking co-workers for baby powder because this day is a RASH on your SOUL and you’re wondering what your dogs are doing and how you can have their lives.
Little did you know that the Baywatch team has been waiting in their red swimsuits on the sidelines of your mind, ready to save you from this day. Because you started thinking about what would happen if you turned the corner at work and found a shirtless David Hasselhoff drunk in the corner eating a cheeseburger. Would you be like “Sigh, life in the office...” or would you be like “God, not again, why is he always in my AREA?!” OR, what if you turned a corner and you got bowled over by David Hasselhoff in red shorts running to save someone from a paper cut or from putting the wrong toner in the printer? And then you see HR running after him, all “NO SHOES! NO SHOES! DETENTION!!!”
And when you try to get your lunch out of the fridge and collapse under the weight of falling frozen lean cuisines, David Hasselhoff comes running with that big board and rolls you on to it, shouting for people to help clear the lasagna and give you space and also noting that the taquitos are past their expiration date, which is DANGEROUS. That’s two rescues in one.
The best would be when the whole Baywatch team has to break up a gang fight within IT: the sys admins vs. the helpdesk.....sys admins circling their desktops, helpdeskers glaring over their laptops. The Baywatch team breaks in and tries to get everyone out in the sun. IT responds by locking their email accounts.
And now you’re disturbing people more than usual because you just can’t stop laughing at the idea of a slap fight between IT and Finance, with Finance wielding balance sheets as its weapon of choice and IT brandishing crazy code no human should understand.
So now this day that decided not to work for you worked for you after all, only in a different way. A Baywatch way. And that makes you toss your hair and walk off into the sunset...mostly because it’s time to go and also because you should probably slip out before someone asks you why there are so many cheeseburger wrappers on the floor.
