Do I really need to know how to drive a stick shift? How realistic is The West Wing? What if a city were a food? These are the things I think about. If a city were a food I’d live in New York because it’s lasagna. It’s saucy and cheesy and layered.
Come with me on this. I’m not thinking about iconic foods or regional dishes. Boston is meatloaf. Newport is Beef Wellington. Indy is a baked potato. I asked some friends to play this game. Chicago is definitely steak.
Seattle and Portland and maybe Spokane are granola bars, but not the chewy granola bars with chocolate chips...they are the hard granola bars that come two to a package because if you’re hungry enough to eat one and don’t break your teeth on it, you might as well have the other. I’m not sure why, though...it’s not like it will go stale. It’s like grapenuts.
We all disagreed on DC. One says its a shortbread cookie (looks tasty, is bland), I say its cheesecake (you can put lots of things on or under or in it but its a fundamentally delicious treat). Yet another said that DC is fried chicken and biscuits because it sizzles and it's delicious and southern and it’s what's under the skin that makes it yummy. It doesn't follow the rules that I made up and that are so arbitrary that I've planted several trees in their honor but I’ve allowed it.
Arizona is cornbread because I imagine it to be dry and dusty. San Francisco is some kind of fusion with wine, maybe a coq au vin made of tofu with a zucchini blossom foam.
Usually around February I think I’d like to live in California, but I am never sure. I like San Francisco, even if they are obsessed with microclimates, but I don't think I’m cool enough to live there.
I don’t like the idea of diverting volcanoes through abandoned subway tunnels (why aren’t they using the subway?) so I don’t think LA is the place for me. I’ve never really been an Orange County girl, but I am really into myself so I might fit in there.
Ultimately, living in California is living on on the edge of possibility. The possibility that any moment it could break off entirely and float away into the Pacific. And all those fires. This is why I don’t understand why it’s all no smoking, go hiking, no sugar, stay away from carbs and hug some trees. I suppose they balance it with the weed and the wineries. If you’re living in constant fear of floating away from land and/or fire, you might as well be lit.
