Yesterday was Flag Day and I feel like no one remembered. And by “no one” I mean “me.” I think the problem with Flag Day is that it doesn’t have a signature drink and therefore no one remembers it. Poor Flag Day. It’s like the lone shoe you see in the middle of the street, all forlorn and run over.
How does that happen anyway? I mean, who besides Cinderella (a questionable woman in my opinion, due to her neglectful attitude towards footwear) loses just one shoe? And who (besides that girl who apparently doesn’t need shoes anyway due to her being a chambermaid ...which I would think you’d want shoes for that. Heavy duty shoes) doesn’t go back for their shoe? I don’t understand this careless and utter disregard for shoes. And I don’t think I want to know such a person. Such a person would certainly not remember Flag Day, to be sure.
Cinco de Mayo has margaritas. St. Patrick’s Day has beer. What does Flag Day have? Nothing. If I’ve said it once, it’s the only time I’ve ever said it: If you want to be remembered, you need a signature drink. Tom Collins. Shirley Temple. Vodka Tonic. All memorable (though ironically except for Miss Temple, if you drink too much of the others you’ll forget everything, including your name and possibly one or both of your shoes).
I think people used to celebrate Flag Day, right? I mean, flags have their own songs...those marchy songs like “You’re a Grand Old Flag” and “Stars and Stripes Forever.” Far be it for me to criticize singing to inanimate objects. I sing to just about everything. I sing “Land of 1000 Dances” to my shoes and “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” to my passport. My point is, Flag Day has songs but not a drink. Doesn’t it deserve a drink, this piece of fabric that has its own rules about how to fold it? It seems to me that any piece of fabric that has rules around how to fold it should have its own drink. * Especially rules that, if not followed correctly, could earn you 30 days in the brig and possibly a charge of treason. TREASON! For incongruent creases!
Perhaps that will be my new summer project: Find a drink to commemorate Flag Day. Maybe with a little flag in it. So meta. Would Campari and soda work here? It’s Italian but oranges are SO American.
*Note to self: check and see if GAP sweaters have their own drink.